Becoming A Gym Junkie – Marty’s Internet Show (Season 2, Episode 1)


(ping pong ball bouncing) – [Phone] You’re a depressed
piece of shit, that’s right. Let’s find out today in
the body shaming prank. (argument between Brad and Marty) (Marty falls off scooter and screams) (Marty throws lemons at Brad) I hurt myself today. If you don’t like me anymore for who I am, you can get the fuck out. This is review that– – This looks not so funny. Hey asshole, this is actually a really good representation of the autistic spectrum. And honestly, you’re
just a fucking ugly hater who probably is a weeaboo, bracket, not that there’s anything wrong with that, who lives with his mom, bracket, not that there’s anything
wrong with that, bracket. And fucks dogs. Fuck you, my show is good. Post. Ya know, let’s get
season two goin’ I think. Let’s call Brad. (sniffs) – What’s up, what’s up? Where are you, Brad? – What? But I need you to come over and film. You’re fat, you can’t gym. (laughs) (dial tone) He’s probably not at the gym. He’s probably like wangin’ his dick, eatin’ ice cream or somethin’. (laughs) (upbeat electronic music) ♪ Marty has an internet ♪ ♪ Marty has an internet ♪ ♪ Marty has an internet ♪ ♪ Marty has an internet ♪ ♪ Marty has an internet ♪ – [Narrator] The first season
of Marty’s Internet Show was, as Marty claims, a
complete and utter failure, garnering almost no viewers. Bad performances by the
show’s leading characters? A lack of an arch throughout the season? The strung together storylines that were hard to keep up with? Maybe a comb ination. But as Marty tries to
move onto Season Two, wanting to make his show better than ever, things take a turn as a
substantial discovery is made. – Okay, Nate we’re ready. Got some ideas here for season two. Ready just to get out and film. I’m just waitin’ on Brad. Oh, he’s here. Come on in, buddy. It’s been a while since
I’ve seen my friend. You look different. – Yeah. – It’s the hat, isn’t it? – Uh, yeah. – Where you been? I haven’t seen ya in a while. – The gym. – With? – Pretty much every day with Chris. – Really? – Yeah. – Is that why you’ve, ’cause you used to just eat nuggies and cheeseburgers from Mickeys- – That was the old me. It’s in the past. Alright? – You’ve, you’re new. – I am new, new and improved. – Me too. I’ve been workin’ out a lot. (grunts) That really hurts. I’ve been workin’ out, see? – Yeah, same. I keep doing squats every
10 minutes or I get a cramp. – [Narrator] Marty has never
been the fittest person in the world but it always
trusted that his slow metabolism would play its part and he would remain a skinny white male. However, over time, his
lack of exercise routine and his diet that regularly included McDonald’s, Chinese
take-out and worst of all, Monster Energy Drink,
has led to the formation of a fat, upper pubic area, commonly known by the
Internet-coined acronym, F.U.P.A. – What? – [Narrator] Chris, while maintaining his drug dealing business on the side, has been dabbling in personal training, with Brad being his first client. After Brad’s extreme transformation, it was clear that Chris had a knack for transforming even the
most unfit people in the world into a hunk of meat. – [Chris] Come on! To your chest! (gasping) Good boy, c’mon. That’s one, you’re gonna do that times five now, little bitch. – Can I stand up, or? – [Chris] Five times. – Oh, fuck. – Down to your chest and push it back up. Push! Push! Push! All the way up. (heavy breathing) Good boy. Back down. Down to your chest. And back up, back up! Up! ‘Nother one. (grunting) Good man. All the way down. Good boy. (smacking) – Fuck! – [Chris] Bring it up. All the way up. And give it a squeeze. – No, no Chris! Yeah, yeah. – [Chris] Yeah, there we go. (whining) – My whole body. – [Chris] All right, take five. – Five what? – [Chris] Seconds! Now get back in there! – So, went for the workout. My body aches, my arms ache, my hands ache, my legs ache. It feels like I’ve been fucked over and over and over. – [Brad] Who’s been fucked? – Hey, Brad. I went for the workout. – Yeah, how’d it go? – My whole body is aching. My legs are aching. You know Stephen Hawking in that movie where he can’t move his legs, like all the time? That’s what I feel like right now. – That sucks, man. You gotta take stuff for that. – Take stuff. – Yeah, yeah, supplements and just supplements will do, I guess. – Really? – Yeah. – Like shakes and stuff as well, or? – Shakes. – What’s Chris take? – Powders, ya know, the works. – Like cocaine powder? – No. – [Narrator] Now with a lot
more knowledge on fitness, diet, and getting swole, Marty
and Chris return to the gym. Marty is ready to show the
world what he’s capable of. (heavy breathing) – Marty’s got it! (heavy breathing) (grunting) (weight dropping) – Oh, shit. Fuck! Marty, no fucking, Marty, no! Oh shit! (car driving) (car door slams) (car engine running) (car door slams) – Marty. – [Marty] Bradley. – [Brad] Welcome home. – Thank you, Bradley. – [Brad] It’s been a while. – I know. I’ve been in the hospital for
six weeks, you fuckin’ idiot. – Yeah, well, that’s okay. You gonna sit down now? – I’m gonna sit down. – Please sit down. – I’m sitting down! – [Brad] Sorry. – It’s okay. Take them, thank you, Chris. – It’s okay, it’s okay. Tell me how you’ve been. – Well, I’ve had time to
reflect on everything. – Yeah? – See, too much of anything
isn’t good for anyone. The extremes of anything
just isn’t healthy. But there’s nothing wrong with eating good food and working out, and there’s nothing wrong
with eating shitty food and being a fat slob like you. Look, I don’t think there’s
anything wrong with me. I’m happy in my own shell and I shouldn’t care what
other people think about me. And you know what? Now being here with my friends, my real friends, I’m happy. And that’s all that matters. (dramatic piano music) (ping pong ball bouncing)

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