How A Bald Depressed Frenchman Won The Napoleonic Wars – Napoleon Total War



bula Espanola to the second best game about the Napoleonic Wars Napoleon total war first game obviously being march of the Eagles hey how is it going everybody it is me I've saw productions talking to my gravy babies today letting you know that today is going to be your day unless it's not you've fallen over into a puddle and after stepping in dog poop well it's actually probably not your day but it could be worse you could be Napoleon like 200 years old and dead just realized on this computer I haven't done any of the campaign's time for a speedrun yes Italy home of the spaghetti ah and the polonaise okay so the bread is everyone that hates me and the white is me know the old saying it was at that point the Austrians knew they messed up well uh it was exactly at that point the Austrians knew they mess their hell up if imagine getting blown up by the French or the Austrians and you're only you know backup is some Italians are we go another victory for the knee-high fence after beating the Sardinians into the next oblivion and I have now taken Milan and we are moving closer and closer to the Austrian homeland of course being the nice beneficial Overlord than I am that ìiíll of all the Italian people I've even gone ahead and built a factory here immediately so they can all work for a slave wage and build me some budget T Napoleon is a very hungry man and this army needs to get to Russia at some point and we all know how that's gonna go if it's not properly equipped well um this is a interesting battle they're just they're just standing there as I repeatedly shoot them in the horse behind I mean their cannons are just here too and I've I've ran out of ammunition well we're just sort of peacefully agreeing not to do much at the moment I got anyone anyone want to have a fight or so to go I'm naturally tended just to stay here for the rest of the game all right I'll see you guys there like 10 minutes I don't know if I'm the one to be saying this but um the enemy's right there sir loads to be fair it does kind of look like their general is currently tripping for you through the ethereal realm right now so maybe he doesn't quite understand what was going on yes guys definitely seeing some demons right about now I imagine kind of weird they all keep them occasionally just like moving their mouths as well are they just having a chat are we just chatting right now to be completely honest with you here leader of Venice your wig makes you look completely stupid now I also don't want to say this is because of the wig Venice but it is 104 6 I just don't like the wig think I'm I just made Napoleon pretty proud in that bow because the majority of the kills were all with my artillery oh well the great March has come to an end as I have it literally if you can look at this map snaked my way across Italy at it's time for the final battle of Galang gone vert and I'm neither gonna do it mission complete voice hi God after landing in clanging firt I realized we weren't in clanging foot the whole time we're in Egypt you've really gonna made yourself a bit of a fool this time around uh Polian Huma gold and camels oh well just trying to have a nice lance holiday with the entire French Armed Forces and look who decides to turn up and ruin my day I'm not entirely sure what you guys are shooting up but the enemy is right here if you could at least get one they're running away they're running away you you haven't hit a single one of them you know if you're kind of new to the Egyptian campaign in the Napoleon don't worry I don't think a lot of the guys here even had a clue what was going on either I think it might have been the biggest like drunk whim in the entirety of history I'm just assuming at some point Napoleon was sitting there talking someone probably his own horse to which he said to the horse why don't we just go invade Egypt it'll be a fun holiday they won't it won't be terribly hot boring half the army will die and then the British will blow up the fleet and I'll have to sneak back to France he'll be fine it was not fine and I'm very slowly dying of attrition myself down here trying to finish off their mammal ox there we go boys we've got Egypt under our helm but now we don't have a fleet so we're kind of stuck here forever and I don't really fancy walking all the way through the Ottomans to get home that is one thing we can do though build a fleet and just keep ending the turn until we have it oh we finally managed to make it to Cyprus and if you can't tell on the horizon we've we've been met by a very big welcome force I get the feeling they're not here to give me tea and crumpets although then again I'm also not here to give them any Bocchetti I'm here to shoot them with my very big cannons so that is ripen in this godforsaken campaign so long I have become one with the camel riding also funnily enough the British tradition of just sending in your cavalry blindly is still here to this day and it'll probably come back to bite them in the behind many more times in history you know what they're I can't think of anything more romantic than taking a balloon ride over Napoleon's battle-weary slaughtering the a Rabb's Arab speaks I don't think these art nerds are actually using any any actual Turkish troops here today yeah you best not be taking any pictures up there though that's copyright infringement of DMCA take you down on YouTube Picard we can finally get out of this goddamn hellhole play but I don't think I'd ever been this happy to see Napoleonic era Europe before okay so where are we currently situated in the world right now now I that's uh that's that's a lot of red tie guys you poor fellow that that does not look you you should probably let that go save it we're gonna do the completely smart thing and try to cross the channel in a paddleboat this might go terribly just gonna make a tactical save beforehand that was I was I was surprisingly easy the British fleet too busy looking at the Cliffs of Dover first half time to plunder Wales for all of its worth it's actually not worth anything there's no point famous Battle of London when Napoleon landed on the British Isles but don't worry boys because this time I say this time he never actually happened sorry Brodie Wampus not caught up to that bit Napoleonic history and I've just bought the anime for you but this time we have the power of hot air yeah go and this ones aren't you worth looting but it will make the the plebs very angry I'm just gonna do it anyway let's be honest just want to point out that my invasion of Italy was nowhere near this neat have so much stuff just sprayed across the continent right now I'm trying to consolidate it down here in Italy so I can go slash around a bit but I'm still just finding stuff all around the map a second you don't belong there Russia I'm not even gonna bring Napoleon out for this I we need to let this guy out for a bit he looks like you might need some air that's one of another 10 billion people that don't want to kill me anymore thanks Austria I'm sure you won't stab me in the back at some point that is that is awfully inconvenient also or the Prussians now probably should have seen that one coming oh we were we were also slightly bankrupt so I did the smart french person thing after realizing that I've already taken out Britain and I blew up the remainder of the Navy we had a striper and you can't trafalgar me if i trafalgar myself and of course austria Amelie rejoined the war against me which is a bit inconvenient you know I can totally relate to why this guy's so bald this is pretty stressful i just unleashed the scottish into the world now it's time for the irish to be unleashed there you go successfully burn the british isles to the ground but fortunately for us the British still exist down here in Gibraltar if you love Gibraltar so much Britain why don't you just marry it totally goddamn marry at this goddamn Brits are the British fell for my mic the classic mistake of still not stopping my Navy and it's time to take gibraltar made friends with the Prussians and now they want me to join the war against the Swiss I'm gonna say no sorry Frederick iose battle of the century arthur wellesley versus incredibly depressed hairline man that feels pretty good yeah that feels pretty damn good well Stu I do now oh liberation of war some really there that's what I've got I've got a better idea alright come on boys this is the riskiest move we have done we're going for a holiday don't worry it's not the Middle East again that's right boys welcome to our new holiday destination st. Petersburg you know the best part about coming by sea so we don't have to worry about that pesky Russia winter and you know we also just just didn't invade and win there and already at some Petersburg so there's a there's also actually no one in some petersburg so i guess i'll just take it i just take them all that's why i'm facing no Russian resistance there in tirol oh I know I did find an actual Russian army in Moscow though and that guy has a fishing rod it's probably the most prepared army in the actual area I'm going to assume though since the Russians have currently taken over the Balkans that that's probably where their army is along with them that the army currently attacking me in tirol oh ii do the russia's just send out a babushka to fight me oh my god who is vaping on the frontlines unfortunately the russians did take to roll in innsbruck which means just for fair fares he trades ii-i'll take Moscow off your hand Oh guys that Russian babushka just got replaced by a guy called mark that's how you know it's pretty bad for the Russians ah there we go the march on Moscow is complete as the cold winds blow through the deathless it's August still it's not quite yet time for winter please no yet you know I think we're gonna leave that that was just like a random video I hear I had for one day I should say I haven't played Napoleon in a while it's a fun game the campaign's a bit different than any of a thorough war game they're broken up into different scenarios but I still enjoyed it very much Napoleon I wish had a bit more content to it but they kind of just left it very quickly actually like I really wish they'd bring back like another game in this sort of era just just just one more time maybe because I really liked Empire I really like Napoleon even though the Scopes just in Europe really and the other campaigns like you go for the Middle East but Eva way I hope you enjoyed the video I hope you leave like a subscribe button and let me know down below there any of our wars or scenarios you want to see me do but until next time guys I'll catch you around probably a Moscow where I'm going to be freezing to death soon

29 thoughts on “How A Bald Depressed Frenchman Won The Napoleonic Wars – Napoleon Total War

  1. FORCE OF COUNTRIES VIC 2 ISORROWPRODUCTIONS Russia 2752 military force JAPAN 2283 military force ITALY 2430 military force GERMANY 1973 military force U.S 2259 military force Britain 2513 military force France 1791 military force Austria-Hungary 1195 military force OTOMANIAN EMPIRE 4422 military force

  2. How the fuck did I read that title as “How a bald Frenchman won the Napolionic wars dressed as a Frenchwoman”

  3. This Maréchal named Davout never lost one single batlle in his life.
    He's the unique Maréchal to do that.

  4. A modern Napoleon Total war that includes the war of 1812 and the skirmishes of the Franco Indian alliance. would be cool shit.

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