Studies Show – Workplace Revelations | The Daily Show


Here at the show, we’re always looking at studies to see how they can improve
our lives. And, lately, there have been
several new studies looking at the workplace. So, to help us figure out
what these studies mean, we turn to our
senior studies correspondent, Dulcé Sloan, everybody! (cheering and applause) Mwah! Hello. Dulcé, um,
thank you so much for joining us and helping us break down
these workplace studies. Well, I’m perfect for the job
because I’m a model employee. You’re-you’re a model employee? I’m glad we agree. All right, let’s get into it. Um, the first study says that half of workers
have quit a job because of a bad boss. What do you think about that? I think
these are some soft-ass people. You’re gonna quit a job because
you don’t like your boss? I make my boss quit
because of me. (cheering and applause) No. When I worked at Best Buy, my boss left ’cause
I was Airbnb’ing his office on weekends. And who are these people anyway? Well, the study actually says that one of the highest rates
of people quitting is in Miami. Well, of course. It’s easy
to quit a job in Miami. There’s beaches and titties
on every corner. That city’s not built
for working. It’s built for twerking, okay? I dare you to try that shit
in New York. (chuckles) You don’t like your boss
yelling at you? Well, guess what, now your
ten roommates are gonna cuss your ass out
’cause you can’t make rent. Dulcé, you have ten roommates? Man, please, I’m on TV.
I got six. I-I guess that’s better.
All right, let’s-let’s move on. Let’s move on to this, uh–
this next workplace study. It’s really inspiring.
It says that 90% of employees come into the office even when
they have a cold or the flu. And I’m-I’m impressed
by these people. And I hate these people. ‘Cause they come into work and
they make the rest of us sick. And the worst part is they act
like they’re not sick. But you know you’re sick,
Jeff, okay? You went through
a box of tissues in a hour. So if you weren’t blowing
your nose, then I need to see
your browser history. (laughter, gasping) No… (cheering and applause) But-but, Dulcé, but, Dulcé, to be fair,
I-I think people are coming in because they want
to help get work done. Oh, please.
Who are these “heroes” who think the office
can’t survive without them? Keep your coughing ass at home,
Karen. Ain’t nobody looking for you. Ain’t nobody putting your ass
on a milk carton, okay? Stay home, you sick bastard. Wow. So much anger.
I wasn’t expecting– All right, let’s just–
let’s just move on to this final study. Um,
you can’t get mad at this one. This study has found
that daydreaming, daydreaming at work can actually
make you better at your job. Yeah, Trevor,
I’m not surprised by this. I daydream all the time. That’s why I’m so good
at my job. Well, yeah, but, technically,
Dulcé, those aren’t daydreams. I saw you– you just sleep
in the break room for, like, three hours. Listen, that’s because
I was having a crazy dream. Okay, see,
what happened was, right, Idris Elba shows up at my house
and tells me he wants to be my baby daddy. The problem was
he had an Idris Elba top but a unicorn bottom, right? And I’m fine with that,
’cause a unicorn Idris is better than no Idris at all,
right? But then Meg’s boyfriend Lamar
shows us and he says I have to kill Idris
or the world’s gonna blow up. Now, usually,
Lamar’s full of shit, but I knew
he was telling the truth ’cause he was also my grandma!
Right? So, I get a knife
and I go at unicorn Idris and I’m about to stab him. But then he leans in to give me
the most seductive kiss. And then? And then my boss woke me up! Now we both don’t know
the ending, Negro. Listen, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go back
into the break room and I’m gonna find out if I get
that Idris unicorn dick. Dulcé Sloan, everybody!

100 thoughts on “Studies Show – Workplace Revelations | The Daily Show

  1. When did humans allow the power of 'majority' to shift into the hands of the 'minority'? why are 99% of humans willing servants of the essentially ruling 1%? when did they forget that the majority always has the upper hand in all things? it just doesn't make sense especially in our current era of social media and people's ability to share efforts for change across vast distances in mere seconds.

    All those #movements for small groups with specific mono-type problems when we have issues that affect the major bulk of humanity at the hands of the very few that could be addressed instead which includes and affects most of everyone in all those smaller scale #movements.

  2. i agree.. i hate this shit… all my coworkers go to work sick.. and they say they have allergies.

  3. Hell yeah. If you're sick, don't go to work! It's not virtue; it's idiocy. Stay home, rest, hydrate, recover, get over it, wash your clothes and linens, and then go to work. Every workplace functions better when its employees are in good health.

  4. Any news story or talk that begins with "studies have shown" should be hurled right into the garbage. Social Sciences aren't sciences at all!

  5. You need to research the studies and who funded them. If they are a legitimate source and how large a group they studied. A lot of these types of studies are paid for by someone wanting a certain result.

  6. Lol "make your boss quit." Honey, no. That's called "getting fired." Administration and HR only care about who swings the bigger nametag. Basic logic, let alone compassion, has no place in business and employee relations.

  7. Dulce I don't like people who are sick and shows up to work either…and make others catch what they have…I believe when something is contagious stay to hell home!

  8. Am I the only one that feels like every "talk" with Sloan feels so unnatural. Of course it is all scripted, but the other talks, for example with Wilmore, feel way more natural.

  9. God damn… being loud does not make you funnier. And if you want to live to see retirement you need to lose a lot of weight.

  10. I live this whole thing where ppl get mad at coworkers for comin in sick…. like what? I've never had a job where I could stay home for being sick 😂 gtfo had to yell at my boss over the phone when I had the worst flu ever! "How many of y'all got the flu shot? Do you want this?! No you don't! I'm staying home, goodbye!" That wouldn't work most places either 🤷‍♀️

  11. I’ve been in a career full time with benefits for almost 40 years but haven’t had a job with paid sick leave since the 80’s. All US workplaces changed to PTO which means every day you call in sick is one less vacation day.

    Currently I work for a major hospital system that requires flu shots but has no designated sick leave. If corporate really cared about patients, it would provide designated sick leave, use it or lose it, and send sick employees home.

  12. I stayed home with stomach flu so bad I was sitting on the toilet with a bucket on my lap – my boss was still pissed that I missed work and made a point of telling me how disappointing it was. My first sick day in two years.

  13. I got written up at my work for having a legitimate medical issue with a doctors note, even though I had sick leave. I had been throwing up multiple times a day for over a month by the time the doctor could get me in. I work 5 days a week, in 20 shifts I missed THREE DAYS because I was throwing up so bad I couldn't get in on time. The rest of the time I just threw up at work. I had to get the state involved because in my state writing people up for calling in sick is against the law. After a month of mediation with the state case workers and hr I got my write up dropped…..and several months of harassment and discrimination from my district managers because they got in trouble for breaking the law. In my previous jobs I couldn't stay home when sick because they only provided 2-3 days of sick leave a year. If I was out more than that it was the difference between being able to pay my rent and being homeless.

  14. Do you think Americans would tolerate diversity in work environment if they would have to provide equal pay? … Think again.

  15. I would do the same thing, quit my job. It's not worth the Hassel complaining to HR over someone who wants to be the Ringmaster. Just find another job that deals with the outdoors. There is no one there but the sound of nature.

  16. Bitch said idris elba top unicorn bottom bitch thats jus a horse bottom wtf u mean unicorn bottom? Lmfao 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭

  17. Lmfao shit reason people come into work sick is because they can't afford sick days. Yes it's fucked up the sickos come in and get everybody else sick, but for fuck sake make it to where your employees don't miss paying a bill for being sick and taking the time off to heal…

  18. I used to work in Miami – I can understand quitting – I quit a job there b/c my boss kept asking me to do illegal stuff or be an accomplice to his vaguely illegal sh*t. I was getting hives from anxiousness.

  19. I f***ing hate managers and HR people and companies that punish people from staying home from work. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM, AND YOU MAKE WAY TOO MUCH MONEY WHILE YOU RUIN OTHER PEOPLES' LIVES!!!

  20. I was being bullied and harassed because I was black. Well it cost them alot now Im loving life with corporate funds. 😉

  21. Supermarket union near me gets part timers ZERO sick days and full timers maybe 3 ( and those may be personal days which should be reserved for days when you aren't sick but need time)

  22. 90% of people go into work when they're sick because we don't have sick leave in America (because it's a slippery slope into socialism), and they will be fired. America's the greatest country in the world, amirite?

  23. I work for a hospital if you come in sick they send you home no hesitation. So work ethic doesn’t mean shit if you’re jeopardizing the health of other people.

  24. Trevor please you have enough good reporters but this one right now is full of crap and we ain't laughing at all.
    She's not natural she's forcing it.
    #YourFansTrevorN_TDS

  25. Some of us have to go to work sick just to make a decent living at 2 jobs just to support ourselves so although you’re sick you’re forced to tough it out and make your money just to get medications used to help cure your illness whether it’s buying cold or flu medication to a serious underlying medical condition that you still can’t afford to miss out on work from just to take care of. It’s either work and let your physical health slip or stay in pique physical health and no job, take your pick 🤷🏻‍♀️

  26. Fun fact: in "Democratic" America, we are not allowed to vote for company CEOs and Board of Directors.

    We have democracy once every 4 years in exchange for an oppressive everyday dictatorship.

  27. i never thought i'd see the day when black folks called each-other "negro" on the daily show. my how far we've come.
    luv u dolce.

  28. On an unrelated note, I kinda feel weird seeing how idris is being sexualised and treated like an object. It's all in good fun and I understand but either we can make jokes on both sides or no jokes on anyone at all.

  29. We once had a girl come into work with a strain of virus for fever. Instead of taking sick leave she got 33 people sick and in total 100 sick leaves in two months. 🤦

  30. What about "I can't take work off for being sick because the like $40 I'd have got working minimum wage can make or break my rent."

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